He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
