this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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