This girl is more easily done than said...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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