I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
