Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
