I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
