I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
