he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
