that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
