I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
