So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
