You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
