So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
