I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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