I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
