Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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