u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
