I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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