Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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