Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
