why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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