Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
only if we run a train.
done.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
