On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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