Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
