It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
