i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
