I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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