i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
