Just fell off a train. Bad.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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