Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
