His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
