is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
There are leaves in my underwear?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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