Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
