My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
