He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
