just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
