So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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