Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
