soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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