the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
