you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
