i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
