You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
