I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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