Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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