are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
