the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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