If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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