Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
