whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
