Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
