You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
